December 03, 2011

Rockland County Teacher Tells Students Truth: There Is No Santa Claus

120311santa.jpg A Rockland County teacher is catching flack for telling her second grade class that Santa Claus isn't real. According to the Post, the "evil educator" made the factually true statement during a geography lesson, after some of her students claimed to know where the North Pole was because "that's where Santa lives." Ah, kids. Everyone knows Santa lives in Boca Raton, and hasn't delivered toys since 1984, when he outsourced his business to a company in Taiwan.
“It’s outrageous that a teacher would strip a child of their innocence and try and demystify something," one 59-year-old nanny said outside George W. Miller Elementary, without a hint of irony. A grandparent of a kindergartener added, “If it happened to my granddaughter, I’d tell her her teacher made a mistake, and there is a Santa." And that these news anchors made the same mistake, and that those middle schoolers on the playground made the same mistake, and...

The school district's superintendent actually dignified the incident with a statement, saying, "This matter is being addressed internally," most likely in the teacher's lounge over cocktails and laughter. Even the Santa at the nearby Palisades Mall found fault with the teacher: "When I read what happened at the school, I had an opinion that I don’t feel would be printable." That Santa, always NSFW! Mr. Claus continued, "I do feel it is unfortunate that this teacher has lost the spirit of Christmas in her heart." If the teacher actually is missing her Christmas Spirit, she can always pick up a new one at Target, Wal-Mart, or another participating retailer.

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